#ConversationsWithGod: Smell the roses 

I said:

dear god, thank you for yesterday. it is inconvenient having to return to my university to obtain my school certificate because of how unorganized and inefficient our education system is. but outside the inconvenience I am reminded of a facebook post I read recently that described how a similar inconvenient situation resulted in the person being positioned for an excellent opportunity. I cannot help but wonder – are you positioning me also?

it’s funny that I am still so sleepy during the days and wide-awake at nights. feels like I am living in two timezones.

And God said:

Positioning is key to my plans for all my children. It is always important to be in the right place for the perfect opportunity. Incidentally, positioning is sometimes achieved through inconvenient situations. but when you understand the scope of my plans for you and when you trust in the goodness of my heart towards you, you will find rest and peace even in the most inconvenient situation. 

for 2018, I have a plan of overflow for you. Yes it will require you to be rightly positioned. As you remain in me, you will know all the right moves to make. So do not fret about the process. Do not angst over the future. Smell the roses I give you today. 

by the way, you already live in two “timezones” – earth, and eternity.

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#ConversationsWithGod: Remain in me

I said:

3.22am god, and i have been awake since midnight. these sleepless nights of mine seem to have continued into 2018. but i am thankful that it is not an anxious night. the first day at work after the holidays was not as intimidating as i had feared. the news i learned today was quite shocking. makes me curious about your plans for me in this context.  please help me to recognise the timing and location for each phase of my life.

meanwhile i am still struggling with how to share these conversations. i want to be your mirror to the world but i am scared of being too vulnerable and transparent. i have learned from 2017 that not every relationship is friendly.

And God said:

overflow, remember? that is what i said to you. if you are holding on too carefully to what i am pouring into you, you will not be able to overflow. you can only overflow when there is a spillage of the contents i place inside of you. do not be afraid of those who can harm the body. because even though they have capacity to do your harm, they are restricted by my intentions. no harm will befall you that i have not expressly allowed for the purpose of lifting you up. remember joseph? every evil planned and done to him was done with my permission because of where i wanted to plant him. remember jacob? laban planned to do him harm and i sent him a strict warning not to do anything to jacob. also because of my plans for jacob. rest in the confidence that i am working all things together for your good. irrespective of the intentions of the world.

i hear your concern to be able to recognse your timing. remember that i do not exist within time so everything that i will give to you i have already given to you. there is no formula to recognise your timing. but by remaining in me you will know when to make a move.

#ConversationsWithGod: A shadow of the future

I said:

Dear god, thank you for today. It was long and stressful. Spending 17 hours at London airport was exhausting. But it was not as bad as I imagined. I enjoyed watching Netflix and Amazon while waiting. Thank you also for my wife’s health. I am not sure that she was completely honest with me about how she was feeling but thank you because she was fit and comfortable enough to makethe long flight home.

I was really pissed coming home to find problems with the light, water and car. So I am thankful that it was easier and faster to resolve than I imagined. I really need to get better about my response to inconvenience. I don’t like how anxious and upset I get when things are not right because of how sad it makes my wife. please help me learn to be more calm in the middle of chaos. help me to learn to be peaceful when all hell is breaking loose. Help me to learn to work with my wife to fix bad situations instead of taking out my anger or frustration on her.

There’s a whole lot I still want to say to you but I am crazy exhausted and sleepy. It was amazing spending the whole of December abroad. It was exciting to experience snowfall for the first time. And it strikes me as very significant that we began 2018 abroad. I am pondering on the correlation between what you have spoken to us regarding 2018 and the events occuring in our lives. But I don’t want to get ahead of you. So Abba, walk with us as we get ready to go back to work on Monday. Goodnight God, you rock!

And God said:

Dear child, thank you for talking with me. I love to hear you express your thoughts. You have no idea how much I have in store for you in 2018. It is my good pleasure to give you the best things of life. Remember what I said to you – 2018 is your season of overflow. I do not speak what I have not already completed. Be rest assured that you are safe in the palm of my hands. I will guide you and lead you. Your vacation abroad is only a shadow of what is to come to you. I will love you with all of the love in me. And my love for you will fill you till you overflow. Rest well. I have heard your desires. I will work with you to show you how to sleep in a storm. Goodnight child.

#opinion Refusing to settle for a clueless faith

out of curiosity i watched some of the interviews by freeze on his tithe debate and free the sheeple movement. i was both impressed and disappointed. impressed because freeze clearly demonstrates critical reasoning and bible knowledge. disappointed because none of the interviewers demonstrated anything close to freezes’ critical reasoning or bible knowledge. like one commenter observed there wasn’t even one intelligent push-back with clear evidence against freeze’s argument which he did well to back up with clear evidence.

i think the interviews are a clear mismatch of minds. which is why i think that freeze is a good thing for christian faithfuls. because even though we are in an age that is empowering a generation of skeptics with tools to attack the christian faith, we are also in an age that is raising believers who refuse to settle for clueless faith.

i think that freeze is a good thing to happen to the christian faith because a majority of the comments i have seen clearly demonstrate how many churches and pastors have failed to feed their congregation more than milk. and how many christians have failed to search out a matter concerning their faith.

i think that one person that could match freezes critically intelligent and valid argument against tithing is leke alder, who incidentally has done a well evidenced and critical argument in support of tithing. for the record, i agree with leke alder’s position of tithing as an elective worship expression.

let me paint a picture of tithing with the way i fuck my wife. sometimes its more regular than other times. sometimes its missionary and sometimes is exploratory. sometimes it’s spontaneous and sometimes it’s scheduled. you see, it’s a dynamic relationship, and it is not always about the frequency or absence/presence of the act. it’s about the intimacy behind the relationship. tithing (or any other monetary giving within a local assembly) is an intimate expression of spiritual affection that should be a result of two passions. this isn’t something that can be regulated. this is something that should grow out of a place of passion between 2 persons – man and god.

those who know me know i really don’t care for being politically or religiously correct. i only care about being led by the spirit, who resides in me. sometimes, i tithe, but not out of compulsion or regiment. sometimes i don’t, and i don’t have any fear of a curse or my pastor’s disapproval.  you see, beyond the intellectual debate about matters of faith, what many folks are reluctant to accept is that there is a singularity to this common faith of ours.

by the way, this is a good example for my previous blog post about why the bible is not the word or voice of god. anyone can defend anything with the bible – even the devil used the bible to defend his actions against jesus. the only thing satan could not counter was when jesus argued with what was said to him personally. the bible is just a narrative of human experiences with divinity for the purpose of stimulating a hunger and thirst for righteousness aka jesus. so the word of god is jesus and the voice of god is the holy spirit. you can’t go wrong if you question these 2 folks.

there isn’t always a hard and fast rule to this christian faith – many times it is based on “as many as are led by the spirit.” as much as there are a few absolutes in the christian faith, there is also a lot of singularity. ultimately the aim of our faith is singular individual devotion.

questioning your faith is a good thing because faith is the presence of illumination. you cannot truly be a man of faith if you have not be informed.

The horror of waiting on God

Don’t let anyone lie to you.

Waiting on God for anything can be a horrific experience. As long as we remain on this side of eternity there is nothing pleasant about waiting.

The maturing believer learns to manage it better but there is still a horror that permeates your soul at 2am in the morning as you toss and turn in a night that refuses to dawn.

l am not sure what is worse in the waiting- the silence of God or the cluelessness of how long. But i am sure that it is not a choice i would make. Yet  i am learning that to surrender is to learn the virtue of waiting for God’s timing.

l remember Joshua on the edge of Jericho- There is a confidence that comes to you when you have just witnessed God split open a boisterous Atlantic Jordan for your entourage to waltz through. There is an urgency in your spirit to take possession of your promise when you find yourself on the front porch of the place God is bringing you to.

And yet it is right at that font porch that you begin to experience your horrific lesson in waiting-

l read the narrative of Joshua’s arrival at the border of Jericho and I am shocked that this is the place that hod decides to circumcise full grown men of war. l have never really been Kicked in the balls but I have accidentally sat on my balls. It is a delibitating experience. And yet it is nothing compared to the crude surgery that Joshua and company were asked to do at the edge of Jericho.

His one thing to be handicapped in a place of safety. It is another thing to be handicapped in a place between slavery and freedom, between unemployment and a Job interview, between bareness and the pregnancy test result between a job offer and feedback on your negotiation. Perhaps even more horrific is Knowing that your enemy Knows you are coming.Or Knowing that you have to have sex in the ovulation window it you want to conceive this month, or Knowing that you are one of two strong candidates and there is very title difference between both of you.

Waiting is horrific because we are limited by our sphere of time. Waiting is horrific because with each day Joshua and his army waited to heal of their chipped penises Jericho had a chance to fortify their defenses. Waiting is horrific because if Jericho decided to launch an offensive first the team was in no position to defend themselves.

Waiting is horrific because it is a place of vulnerability. It is a place of surrender. It is a place of absolute helplessness.

And yet waiting is where the most sovereign act of God is demonstrated.

The penile surgery of Joshua and his team was a horrific moment on the verge of the promise. But it was also a defining moment of the commitment of God. It was God pausing the movie to ensure that the popcorn will not finish just before the climatic scene. It was God sending a text message to the bride on her way to the altar just to tell her that the groom cant wait to get married to her.

Waiting on God can be a horrific experience where you are in pain and tears and discomfort and vulnerable. But it is also the most reassuring experience if you have learned to sense the subtlety of the spirit.

Teach me to recognize your subtle sooereigty in my waiting dear god.

The Surrendering of God

Surrender.

This has been  gods instruction to me for 2017. And it has been one of the most painful instructions l have had to follow since I learned to walk by the leading of the spirit.

l have struggled and wrestled with God like never before. I have been stripped of my sense of security and safety. I have been made a bare footed priest walking on hot burning coals. l have been so ripped apart of my sense of self that l have had nothing to say to God for a while.

But tonight God reminded me that he is a priest that is familiar with all of my affliction. As I sat in silence in his presence with Travis Greene playing softly through my earpiece, God reminded me that he is touched by the feeling of my infirmity.

He said, do you know why you love me? Because I first loved you. Do you know why you must surrender to me? Because I first surrendered to you. I ask nothing of you that I am not willing to give to you. I make no demands of you that I have not sacrificed for you.

l am able to comfort you in your pain because of the comfort that I myself have had to learn. Jesus was me surrendering my divinity to your humanity. My death on the cross was me surrendering my immortality for your mortality.

Surrendering is not a pleasant process. It is a death to self. It is a death for love. It is an exchange for life.

But be of good courage. The cost of surrendering is nothing compared to the glory that shall be revealed afterwards. I know this because I have been there and done that.

Jesus is my price and reward of surrendering. For as many as l have predestined l have chosen to be confirmed to the image of Jesus.