#ConversationsWithGod: by your side

Me: i am here, i don’t want to be, but i am here. 

God: i know, and i am glad you are here

me: i don’t know why you bother. i noticed all your attempts to get my attention, why bother? i really didn’t want to hear you. until denzel washington showed up this morning.  and then you sent eunice. i mean you have gone to great lengths to catch my attention…from the US to Uganda…i would be flattered if you had gone to such great lengths to stop me from being so mad.

god: you’re upset, i understand.

me: yes i am upset because i blame you. i trusted you. i believed what you told me. but you lied. why lead us on? why should i bother to listen to anything you have to say? what difference does your promise make? you don’t step in when you should. you leave us to hang. you left jesus on the cross too.

god: ouch. that was mean, that hurt.

me: but you did. even jesus looked for you and you weren’t there.

god: you’re upset, i understand

me: so i am here, what do you want to say to me this time?

god: you’re upset and it’s only human for you to be. i don’t want to give you words right now. i just want to give you comfort. i just want you to know that, no i didn’t abandon you. i didn’t not show up. i just want you to know that i am here with you in your pain. and i won’t speak until you are ready to listen. but i will be right by your side, in silence, grieving with you.

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#ConversationsWithGod: Perspectives

I said:

….

#AndGodSaid:

There’s a lot going on around you that is not quite as you expected. But it does not change the truth of the future i have shown you. I want you to focus on perspectives at this time. To help you understand my point, i want you to watch again the movie, Vantage Point. After that, let’s talk.

#ConversationsWithGod: soundtracks of faith

I said: i am a little sad about today’s news

God said: i know, thats why i prepared you for it. let’s flash back…what’s the first song i gave you for 2018?

I said: Tasha Cobbs and Nicki Minaj – I’m getting ready (overflow)

God said: good…and the message ?

I said: you are going to give me something i have never seen before.

God said: good. and the second song i gave you?

I said: Sinach – way maker

God said: and what did you pastor teach you about the message?

I said: you will make a way for me

God said: excellent…not what is the last song i gave you a few days ago?

I said: Michelle Willams (ft Beyonce + Kelly Rowland) – say yes

God said: bravo! now listen to me my child. i do not waste words. everytime i speak to you, it is a word meant to give you live. these 3 songs you have listed are the the soundtracks of your faith for 2018. the embody my desire and plans for you in 2018. i gave them to you to guide you in the path that you should take; i gave you these soundtracks to steady your feet when that path becomes thorny. i am with you through it all, i will do for you what no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has conceived. Remember Nicky Minaj’s line – you are levelling up 3 times. the third song i gave you is your level-up song. never forget my words; because they will not return to me unfulfilled. when the path is darkened,  and you feel rail-roaded, just stop and dance to the soundtrack of your faith.

#ConversationsWithGod: the game plan

I said:

#AndGodSaid:

2 things I want you to hold on to as you deal with your current situation. 

First, is what td Jake’s said: all fear is not bad. Fear should make you prepare more. That’s what angela was trying to explain to you. Channel your fear into preparation. And I understand your tendency to overprepare to the point of paralysis. That is when you should remember what letitia said: to combat nerves, she prays, she prays, and then she gets on with it. Try it too.

Second, remember what Nicki Minaj told you. From food stamps to more ice than gretzky. Thats still my plan for you. Gretzky said, he skates to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been. That’s the same game plan I have given you, which is why you may seem different from everyone else. You cannot fail if you trust my game plan.

#ConversationsWithGod: headliner

I said:

#AndGodSaid:

Remember Letitia Wright. Remember her testimony of the things I told her about her role in the Black Panther movie. Remember how she stole the show despite a cast of exceptional talents. What I did for Letitia as Shuri is an example of what I will do for you. I have told you before that I will amplify you so that people will hear more than you say and see more than you show. Letitia listened to my voice and see how far she has come. That is why I told you this morning that my voice is enough for you. I will not leave you helpless. I will guide and show you how. You do not need to be like everyone else. You do not need to fear being under estimated. Shuri, as Letitia, was a show stealer. I am making you a headliner.

#ConverationsWithGod: my voice is enough

i said:

abba, i am very afraid right now. of where i am and the journey i must take. i forget that you own 60% equity in this life of mine and that you have more to loose than i do. i feel like i need to walk with my eyes wide open, how can i just take steps with closed eyes and just listen to the sound of your voice. what if you make a mistake? what if i stumble and fall? i need to protect myself from falling and failing. i guess that means i trust my ability more than i trust your ability? 

#AndGodSaid:

breathe in, breathe out. and listen to what you just said. if this moment wasnt so solemn for you i would laugh in your face. 60%? really? you think you do up to 40%? listen, it may be hard for you to fuly get the concept but this is not a 60-40 deal, or any other deal fr that matter? remember what you always say about marriage with your wife? it is a 100-100 deal. you both put in your everything. same principle with me kiddo. you and i are in this 100-100. it is in me that you live and move and have your being. and it is through you that i express the fullness of my personality. without me there is no you and without you there is no me. so we win or lose equally. but i don’t lose. ever. which means you don’t lose too. trust me ayo. you know my track record. you have my CV. despite what looks like a loss, in the stock market, it is not always a loss. same principle with me. i have promised you overflow. i have promised to make your way for you. you can walk with eyes closed. listen for my voice. it is enough for you.

#ConversationsWithGOD: overflow is not spillage

I said:

so much has happened this week lord, so much that i have not been able to catch up with you here. thank you for teaching me long ago how to practice your presense, so that i do not depend on formal sit-downs to stay in coversation with you. although sometimes i do feel guilty like i have neglected you, but i constantly feel your presence in everything.

so like i said, a lot has been happening. a lot that is good and it is almost overwhelming. now it all makes sense what you told me the other day about showing me strategies on a need to know basis. i haven’t been able to sleep well these past few days because my mind is constantly thinking over the ideas that you have been showing me, and i sense that we have not even begun. imagine how overloaded i would be if you showed me everything at once.

and then there is the exciting journey that my wife and i have begun and its so cool how you have worked everything out. lol i want to throw my head back in laughter at those moments when i fear and worry and angst over things.  lol what a clown i must look like to you. i bet you have a lot of smh moments at me. 

its all pouring out now. i feel like a giddy school boy pouring out his adventures to the crush of his life. i am happy lord, you have been good more than i hoped for. i see better now glimpses of what tasha cobbs and nicki minaj told me you would do. gosh, especially nicki minaj, she was spot on lord. everything she said is what you have been doing these few months. 

i want to jump on you and dance around you. i am excited. i am giddy. and i am grateful. you have been so good, you have been so true to your word. thank you for what is yet to come. thank you for the overflow. thank you for making a way for our boundaries to overflow. thank you because we are not alone. thank you because you walk every day with us, thank you for your patience when i am so full of doubt and fear. even now, i tremble at the blessings you are bringing. i fear that i am not worthy or able. but i sense your peace and your presence so i am thankful, Abba. XOXO

#AndGodSaid:

lol. i missed you to my child. but like you said, practising my presence is a whole lot more rewarding than scheduled moments. everything has its place and purpose, so do not fret.

i am excited that you are excited. this is the kind of life i have for all my children. a life that makes them giddy like kids. i have called you into glory, glory that is not dependent on your level of effort, but only on my goodness and faithfulness. See before you were born i already called you and named you and blessed you. i told you before your life on earth is simply a slower timeline of your completed future. that is why i always want you to never fear because there is nothing to fear. you already won. you already conquered. you already were victorious. 

what you are seeing is not even the beginning of what i will do for you. overflow is not just a spillage. it is what happens when the ocean overflows its banks. it is both the force and extent behind tsunamis and floods. the same way that bodies of water overflow cities is the way that my blessing will overflow in your life. it will be more than you can imagine. it will be something you have never seen before. it will blow your mind.

#ConversationsWithGod: I am hereĀ 

I said:

I am here but I don’t have wordsfor you tonight. for both good and bad reasons. But I am here. Because there is no where else I can be. 

#AndGodSaid:

My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in you. I am your sheild from shame. I am your grace for righteousness.  I am here too.

#ConversationsWithGod: predefined moments

I said:

hello god. it is getting more difficult to keep up with documenting our conversations. thank you for the random interactions we usually have, but i understand that you need to prepare a modern day bible for the future. so help me be faithful to what you have inspired me to start.

in other news, things have been unfolding pleasantly in the past few days. i am cautiously optimistic for wat you have in store. cautiously because i have learned to be defensive. i am not sure if that is a good thing; it feels like i trust satan’s desire to harm me more than your desire to help me. 

so i turned 37 on the 28th. i am thankful. clearly i have known your goodness. best of all, i am happy about our relationship. i am happy that you have protected me from religion. i am happy that you have given me a hunger and thirst for intimacy with you. i am happy that i am learning to be an extension of your being. it’s odd that you would be so at home in me when i still have human idiosyncracies that are not all healthy.

you have given me glimpses of my future. i am elated at your plans for me. but i ust confess that my excitement is tinged with fear. because your dreams are bigger than my confidence. how can i be all that you have planned for me? i am so timid and inadequate. what if i fail? what if they find out that i am not the MVP afterall? what if i fail?

i have so many thoughts floating through my mind that it sometimes feels so paralyzing.  it feels good to know that you are a mind reader.

#AndGodSaid:

happy birthday my child. let me tell you a story of how you were formed. you may think that your life began 37 years ago, but you would be misinformed to think that. you, my child, are ageless. you began in me, long before your parents conceived you. you were in my beginning, and you know i have no beginning. yes my child, you are ageless like me. it is only your humanity that began 37 years ago.  this is only your human experience.

so now that you know that you predate your humanity, do you see why you should have no fear? because you are even older than the earth. there is nothing earthly that is new to you because you have seen it all in me. your humanity is not the beginning of your existence; it is simply a collage of your human adventures. what is a collage? it is a collection of predefined moments. your humanity is predefined moments. again do you see why you should have no fear?

let me put it in very simple and clear terms that i hope will give you better confidence – your future is history to both of us. we have both lived what you are yet to experience on earth. your timeline is eternity playing at reduced speed. so all that you think will come has already come. 

if you ask my opinion, i would simply tell you this: enjoy your ride, ayomipo.