3:50 AM 8/16/2006
…this morning i spoke to god; i didn’t say a word, but he heard me. and he responded with this beautiful verse that flooded my heart with light and a reason to go on.
God did not forget about Noah and the animals with him in the boat. So God made a wind blow, and the water started going down. God stopped up the places where the water had been gushing out from under the earth. He also closed up the sky, and the rain stopped. For one hundred fifty days the water slowly went down. Then on the seventeenth day of the seventh month of the year, the boat came to rest somewhere in the Ararat mountains. (Genesis 8v1-4)
For obvious reasons, these verses of scripture are pure bliss. You will have to have been me these few days to fully appreciate the esctacy of discovering the above scripture. TD Jakes put it this way: you have to understand my struggles before you can appreciate my success. I totally agree. Yesterday, I was talking to a dear, dear friend of mine. I was trying to unwind to her; she said I was complaining. I was trying to tell her how weak I felt. She said I should quit sulking and be strong. I thank God for friends like Tess. But I am grateful for a high priest who is not unaware of the feeling of my weakness (Hebrews 4v15); who understands agony and despair so intense(Luke 22v44); and who can speak a word so precise and perfecting, that it has to be more than mere coincidence that the daily devotional software on my computer picked those verses for today.
for a split second, i stood outside myself and joined noah in the boat. I understand confinement; it’s not pleasant, especially with no certainty of the time frame. Especially in close quarters with elements incapable of situational comprehension. I mean, just sitting out a debut 40-days-and-nights-tsunami-like-rainfall is one thing; sitting it out with a shipload of all kinds of animals is another thing. I dare say, noah’s patience wore thin more than once.
I mean, picture it, you are trapped in this huge wooden case, and all around you is the battering of intense rainfall, the motion of stormy waters under your feet, the yells and screams of desperate people dying on the outside. I mean, maybe noah could sit out the first few days, but for over 200 days? And surrounded with the obvious fact that you are the only surviving person in the whole wide world. I mean, its a reason to be thankful, yes; but it’s also a reason to be small, to be lonely.
For the first time in my life, the story of the flood is more than just a story. I entered the boat with noah, i paced the floor with him, i stuck my fingers in my ears against the sounds from outside, i banged the cage doors of the animals, i yelled at them, threw food in their face, i broke up fights with my daughters-in-law who were crowding each other, i sat down and cried because of mercy, i also cried because of the nice old man that lived on my street, the cute little girl in the family next door; i cried because i wasn’t outside in the storm; i cried also because i was inside in the ark; i praised god for his grace, i screamed at god for his judgement, i pounded my fist against the sides of the boat…when would the wind stop howling? when would the rain stop pounding? when would the stench go away? when would sunlight reappear? when would the walls around me come down?
I am grateful god didn’t forget noah in the ark. I am grateful god has’t forgot me either. In spite of the turbulence in my life right now; in spite of the discomfort of being on the frontlines of battle in the army of the lord; in spite of the unfavorable elements of living in war time, i am grateful that the story has already been told. I WIN!!!
after the dust has cleared, i will be found standing tall. After the waters have gone down, my boat will come to rest. After the shaking, i will walk on solid ground again.