Don’t let anyone lie to you.
Waiting on God for anything can be a horrific experience. As long as we remain on this side of eternity there is nothing pleasant about waiting.
The maturing believer learns to manage it better but there is still a horror that permeates your soul at 2am in the morning as you toss and turn in a night that refuses to dawn.
l am not sure what is worse in the waiting- the silence of God or the cluelessness of how long. But i am sure that it is not a choice i would make. Yet i am learning that to surrender is to learn the virtue of waiting for God’s timing.
l remember Joshua on the edge of Jericho- There is a confidence that comes to you when you have just witnessed God split open a boisterous Atlantic Jordan for your entourage to waltz through. There is an urgency in your spirit to take possession of your promise when you find yourself on the front porch of the place God is bringing you to.
And yet it is right at that font porch that you begin to experience your horrific lesson in waiting-
l read the narrative of Joshua’s arrival at the border of Jericho and I am shocked that this is the place that hod decides to circumcise full grown men of war. l have never really been Kicked in the balls but I have accidentally sat on my balls. It is a delibitating experience. And yet it is nothing compared to the crude surgery that Joshua and company were asked to do at the edge of Jericho.
His one thing to be handicapped in a place of safety. It is another thing to be handicapped in a place between slavery and freedom, between unemployment and a Job interview, between bareness and the pregnancy test result between a job offer and feedback on your negotiation. Perhaps even more horrific is Knowing that your enemy Knows you are coming.Or Knowing that you have to have sex in the ovulation window it you want to conceive this month, or Knowing that you are one of two strong candidates and there is very title difference between both of you.
Waiting is horrific because we are limited by our sphere of time. Waiting is horrific because with each day Joshua and his army waited to heal of their chipped penises Jericho had a chance to fortify their defenses. Waiting is horrific because if Jericho decided to launch an offensive first the team was in no position to defend themselves.
Waiting is horrific because it is a place of vulnerability. It is a place of surrender. It is a place of absolute helplessness.
And yet waiting is where the most sovereign act of God is demonstrated.
The penile surgery of Joshua and his team was a horrific moment on the verge of the promise. But it was also a defining moment of the commitment of God. It was God pausing the movie to ensure that the popcorn will not finish just before the climatic scene. It was God sending a text message to the bride on her way to the altar just to tell her that the groom cant wait to get married to her.
Waiting on God can be a horrific experience where you are in pain and tears and discomfort and vulnerable. But it is also the most reassuring experience if you have learned to sense the subtlety of the spirit.
Teach me to recognize your subtle sooereigty in my waiting dear god.