it’s been a great many minutes since i last posted. i haven’t been that busy, but i have just not had the strength to type out a post. Living every minute of the day behind my laptop, and online, after a while, you just want to get away from the computer for as long as possible.
life has been good; God has been good. there have been landmarks in my life indicating that this is indeed the year of fulfillment for me. for starters, i finally got to fulfill my desire and dream of going on a movie date! (….so am from the stone age, bite me. i have never been to the movies before). so anyway, there you go, fulfillment. and yes that may be petty, but i have learned that when you recognize God in the little things, He shows up in the big things. so yes, i am willing to thank God for the opportunity to go to the movies with a potential date.
he he….ok, lets talk about that. in line with my year of fulfillment, i have decided firmly, that i must finally begin a serious relationship this year. enough of being single. after 26 years of single-hood, i am so rearing to date. now i know that sounds like desperation, and maybe it is, but for pete’s sake, a brotha needs some cuddling. lol. okay, anyway, the she is focus is a old school friend who just finished from the uni, and was in town for a while. now shes someone whom i have come to bond with on a spiritual and emotional level, and she makes for a very dependable, trustworthy and caring friend….so i figured, of all the ladies in my past she was the only open alternative. the last time i checked she informed me she was waiting to finish uni before starting a relationship, so i wanted to move in fast. and i was informed that the movies was an ideal place to pop the semi-big question…
but inexperience ole me chickened out. i mean, the fear of rejection is the bane of romance, and the risk of spoiling a very good friendship. but really the truth is i was not so sure this was the right move. i mean, i recognized my overdrive to date, but i also know this is not a trial and error thing, at least not for someone like me. and as much as i bond with this girl, i was not as physically attracted to her as i would like to be…correction, shes beautiful and all, but you know, those extra bells and whistles were not there for me….bite me, i like an extremely finely well cut out woman. (so did Abraham and Isaac who had to lie to protect their territory…lol). so anyway, common sense played out a win, as i decided not to put my foot in my mouth.
moving on, i moved into a bigger and more comfortable office. another indication of God’s paycheck for me this year. especially as i am expecting t move into a bigger and more presentable apartment before the month runs out.(thank you lord for the speedy approval on my house loan). i also got to send my mom the largest amount of cash i ever did when she asked for some help…..that alone makes me wanna do a jig dance….this truly is my year of fulfillment, and God has told me to remember the prophecies so that i recognize their fulfillment. i am not going to miss even the fine prints here.
now, to the title of this post, i was thinking recently and i realized that truly God does know a few things….he he…i know how that sounds, but you get my point….you know all my life i have tried to make every woman i meet into a big sister figure for my lack of a sister, and everyone of them have never truly lived up to that persona. until T. now shes someone who was assigned to teach me the basics of faith when i first joined my ministry, and back then i had this “so-u-think-u-know-more-than-me?” attitude. until she opened her mouth and began to talk, then i noticed that indeed big things come in unusual packages. over the years, she has become my best friend and my sister…in more than words….practically everyone in her family, extended family, fiancees family, neighborhood, church, everywhere knows us as inseparable. she has shared everything with me…even her bed(to the pure all things are pure, i am still a virgin!). her fiancee knows that even he cannot come between us, so he just carries me along for everything. point is this, she is the last person i would have picked for my sister figure….she has none of the eye candy that would attract me….she’s just your normal everyday chick, no head-turning, mouth-whistling, temperature-rising nada….and yet she has fulfilled that sister figure in more ways that all my other choices ever did.
so i was thinking about all of this, and realized that, ok, so God does know a few things. he knows my innermost desire, and he knows where i can find them. it’s not a question of whether God wants to give to me, it’s a question of whether i will like what He gives to me. Honest truth, if the choices were left to me, i wouldn’t have picked T for my best friend and sister. And i would have missed an entire experience.
Moral of the story: if God knows enough to pick out the best choice for a sister for me, don’t i think he knows enough to pick out the best mate for me? Yes, Abba, i believe you do….but pretty pls, make her smashingly, dashingly, incredibly, exquisitely, enticingly….em, ok, so it was just a thought, you know…
Jaycee, you tagged me “too serious” once. how’d i do on this one?